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Tim Burton re-makes...oh, I'm sorry, "re-imagines"...the 1968 cult classic Planet of the Apes, which starred Charlton Heston. Here, Heston is replaced by the far less iconic Mark Wahlberg, and Burton has fleshed out a lot more of the backstory. And yet, something is missing from this incarnation of the story. Although I am not by any means a fan of the original film (and would rate Burton's version only slightly behind the original), I can't deny that the 1968 movie delivers some campy delights...mainly thanks to the ludicrously over-the-top performance of Heston. This version has so much attention to detail, and so expertly creates this alien world, that much of the humour and spontaneity needed in a story like this is lost. Paul Giamatti tries to add some comic relief, but isn't too successful. Far better is Tim Roth as the villainous leader of the apes, a man who reminds us how unsettling apes can be. Wahlberg is as stiff as ever in the lead role, and the love triangle involving Wahlberg, Helena Bonham Carter (as an ape) and Estella Warren is not really developed at all. Planet of the Apes does at least contain a rousing scene as its climax...an all-out, full-scale battle between the rebels and the apes. Unfortunately, Burton, in an effort to one-up the original version, has added a twist ending to the film that is not only completely illogical, but clumsily revealed. Burton is so talented visually that he can elevate standard action material (like Batman) to a level that approaches high-art. In this film, though, he seems content to let the apes be the spectacle. It's just too bad that the story and script of the film seem like they were typed by a thousand monkeys sitting at a thousand typewriters...


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Going into Planet of the apes, i did not have high hopes. I mean, the concept of the movies itself seemed ludicrous and it seemed to belong to the group of blockbuster , high cost duds like Godzilla. Well, i was only partly right.

Even ignoring the lame, gaudy Monkey costumes, cliched plot, and seriously lousy ending, Planet seems at best a mediocre film, even if its by Tim Burton.
However what saves it is a caustic social satire and the refective nature of the ills of human society. Beneath the lame ape costumes, so-so special efx, and contrived romance is a refection of human society and the reflection of man's brutality and innately aggressive nature. Apes are in fact a parody of humans and it gives Planet a caustic satirical touch a la Truman Show that lifts it slightly above the mediocre big budget movies. A watchable and entertaining movie, though it could have been better.

en, but really, every aspect falls short of impressing me like this film should. Really, this film had a lot of potential, but I'd say this is one of Burton's worst (and I like Burton, so even his worst is not bad). I gave this a 6 because it had to be an integer, but I would probably give this a 6.8 or something if nothing more than the fact that the scenery was great. Not really plausable for a sci-fi film. I'm not talking that this could never happen, but apes inventing basketball somewhere along their evolutionary chain? It may be plausable that apes evolve into something more than humans, but a littlethat the scenery was great. Not really plausable for a sci-fi film. I'm not talking that this could never happen, but apes inventing basketball somewhere along their evolutionary chain? It may be plausable that apes evolve into something more than humans, but a littleen, but really, every aspect falls short of impressing me like this film should. Really, this film had a lot of potential, but I'd say this is one of Burton's worst (and I like Burton, so even his worst is not bad). I gave this a 6 because it had to be an integer, but i'd say it should get like a 6.8 (which still isnt that good, but oh well).

More ratings...

am a big Tim Burton fan, I've practically seen
all his movies: "Batman" , "Sleepy Hollow",
"Edward Scissorhands", "The Nightmare before Christmas"
are the Directors best works to name a few.

But when I first heard, that Director Tim Burton
was going to make a remake of the original
classic sci fi movie "Planet Of The Apes" with
Charlton Heston, I was skeptical.

Everyone knows that remakes of classic movies
90% of the time, plain suck.

The movie remake of "Psycho" is a good example.

I was further skeptical that Tim Burton's remake
would equal the success of the original because
all the ideas thought possible were used
for the "Planet Of The Apes" series and movies.

Apes going into space, an Ape's son taking over
the world, and even mutant beings are just
a couple of the ideas that were used for
the four sequels and 2 television series that
wanted to profit of the 1968 film.

Now after watching the film , my gut instinct
told me I was right.

The New version of Planet of The Apes is
highly predictable, copying a large bulk of
material from the original, with brief
differences.


Probably the biggest problem that this movie
itself has it the lamest, and dumbest ending
in movie history.

In fact, the ending looks like it was written
by a 13 yr old, who has too many cheap sci fi
films.


The end of the film, lets you down with
an incredibly stupid ending that makes you
feel like you wasted time watching it.

Even Tim Burton commented after the film, that
he would not make another sequel. Apparently,
even he knew that his movie failed.

Now my review of the film:

Planet of The Apes starts with great visual effects,
as we learn that an Air Force Space Station
has occupied the universe.

Mark Walhberg plays Captain Leo Davidson,
who is teaching scientific
chimps how to pilot space vessels for research.

Basically, the chimps are sent as probes , if you
will, to uncharted planets.

However, something goes wrong, and the head chimp,
gets lost on a voyage to a planet.

Davidson, caring for the chimp, disobeys orders
and goes after him.

Now then comes the copying of the original film into the remake,but Burton tries his best or worst to not make it look like a copycat film.

Davidson is eventually captured by the Apes of the Planet.

Just like the original film, the Apes personality traits are split by class.

The warriors are made mostly of Apes and Gorillas.

The lying and cunniving politicians are made up of Urangantans.


While the more sympathetic apes relate more to
the chimp class.

In the original fim, Charlton Heston has the famous line that all fans know when he is captured by the Apes:

"Let go of me you damn dirty ape".

However, Burton changes the script to not copy the original.

In the remake, it is the ape who use a line similiar to this:

"Let go of me you damn dirty human"
...

Lol. I laughed for a while when I saw this.

It's just a very dumb scene.
Because even Burton changed the lines, it's still trying
to copy that classic scene from the original.

Anyways Davidson is captured and eventually meets the head
Ape of the planet.

Davidson is eventually put into the lines of human slaves
that the apes have. Here also Burton tries to add
differences between this film and the original.

If you recall in the original, Charlton Heston was the
only human who could think and talk, while all the over
humans either had labotomies or had their throats cut out.

This made Heston's character, Taylor, much more unique
and dangerous to the apes.

In the remake though, Burton makes it so all humans can talk.

This made Walhberg's character not as unique and dangerous,
as the original Heston character.



Tim Roth, plays the evil General Thade who is the military
dictator in control of the planet.

For the most part, Roth's part is admirable, he does display
that aura of intimidation and fear, that all villians in the
movie have, but all of this is ripped to shreds by the horrible ending of the film.

Eventually Davidson and the rest of his human and ape friends stage a revolt against General Thade to see who will rule the planet.

This is actually one of the few good points of the film,
Burton gives you the hope that things will turn out the best
in the end, but not necessarily...


Without giving away the ending of the film, all I can say is that it is one of the cheesiest, dumbest endings I've seen!!!

In fact, my first reaction to the ending was disbelief, followed by sheer laughter.

I couldn't believe that Burton had done that type of ending.

The ending reminds me of those low budget, cheap sci fi endings from the 1950's and 60's.

If I wanted to see sci fi movies with a cheap , laughable, ending I would watched the reruns of "Mystery Science Theater 3000"!!.


What upsets me about the ending, is that before the ending, we are lead to believe that the movie is going to end one way.


In fact, if the movie ended up the way I thought it was going to end, I would have given it a perfect 10!!!


But Burton (I don't know what he was thinking)sabotages, the good film with a cheap ending, that leaves you feeling rip-offed.

That's the best way I can put it.

Several weeks after the movie was released, Burton said
he would not do a sequel to "Planet Of The Apes".

It seems that Burton himself, knew that he messed up a perfectly good film and , proved that remakes of classic films should be left alone.


Burton himself hasn't done a film since "Planet Of The Apes"
(until his newest films like Big Fish I believe it's called),hopefully the next film he does won't be a remake of any originals.



I am a big Tim Burton fan, but the remake of "Planet Of The Apes" is probably the worst film that he has done.

I love this movie. I don't care that it's based on another movie at all. The DVD is great too. You have to check it out.

So when you haven't seen a film that everyone else thinks is a masterpiece, you feel like you just have to see it. With SAVING PRIVATE RYAN, I had seen it in theaters 6 years ago when it first came out, and I remember liking it, but I couldn't remember why.

SO, got it from the Netflix recently, along with the 2001 remake of PLANET OF THE APES. We'll start with SPR.....................Which is underwhelming, to say the least. Actually, I'm of the distinct opinion that Spielberg sandwiched a shitload of bullshit in between two extraordinary battle scenes. That's old Spielberg for ya. While I am of the impression that he is an outrageously talented filmmaker, he's too caught up with the sentimental side of filmmaking. Does every film have to tug at the heartstrings? Does every film have to make the viewer cry? No, god no. If he would, just once, go back to what he did with JAWS. He came close with MINORITY REPORT, which was a great film, but fumbled it in the end. Come on, Spielberg! Grow a pair and get fucking mean. Just give us that visceral thrill that we so desperately need from you.

On that note, we move on down the road to Tim Burtons' PLANET OF THE APES remake. What the hell was he thinking? It could have been great, were it not so goddamned cheesy. You expect cheesiness from the original, but not from the remake. Wait, what am I saying? It's a planet, of apes, how can it not be some grade-A gouda? Still, with as talented a visual director as Burton is, you'd expect more. Ah, who cares. I and everyone else know he'll never top ED WOOD(fuck a bunch of BIG FISH) so he might as well just stop trying, and make some really solid films.

Underwhelming. Man, I hate saying that fucking word.

It tries to be an action movie, but it fails miserably. Uninteresting, horrible script, bad action, and awful, awful ending that really came out of nowhere and had no reason for it. How did it happen?

*.5/****

PLANET OF THE APES
(TIM BURTON, 2001)
PG-13
1 HOUR 59 MINUTES