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ICE PIRATES (1984)
What more could a 10 year old boy want? Sexy princeses, sword fights, battle robots, kung fu midget fighting robots, time warps, outerspace, space craft, monsters, castration by crotch eating machines.....This movie had all the goods. Well all the goods except for good acting. This was a pirate spoof set in the future of space. A thing such as water has become a valuable commodity and these pirates are out to make a buck. So they turn good and help a thirsty planet along the way, bag the princess, in more ways then one, it's still a fun nostalgic flick.

Makes you wonder why actors who for the most part are taken serious go and make stupid movies that just don't fit them at all. Perhaps for the levity of doing something totally different. Anyway Robert Ulrick, yes the same from TV's 'spencer for hire', who had a long and relatively successful amount of work in TV gave movies a try. Considering the volume of TV work he had he couldn't have been that bad. But Ice Pirates wasn't exactly shakespeare.

So if your into Cheesy, 1980's sci-fi special effects and all the things listed above including the midget kung-fu fighting robots...This is totally the flick for you. I really need to watch this again sometime if I can find it on T.V.

In the future people will still be dumb enough to split up when looking for a killer.Fun western spoof that grows tiresome halfway through.Insanely dumb and cheesy, yet also very entertaining. A lot more haunting than I expected.

Like an instant happiness pill. The highly appealing Lili, an unfortunate, down on her luck young lady...equal by a bitter but heart of gold bearing puppeteer. Just beautiful!

One of the worst movies I have ever seen! I wil NEVER EVER see this movie againg it was soo bad! Nobody should see it, don't even try!

1984 US Director: Stewart Raffil

Score: 6

Stop looking at me like that. Yes, I did rate this movie as a recommended one. No, no...don't try to talk me out of it, and no I do not need to "go lay down" for a while. I feel fine, really, everything is fine. It's not like I gave it a ten or anything. The movie is entertaining. Yes, the SFX, even for a 80s movie, could be sliced up to make grilled cheese sandwiches. I know that. Yes the acting is very tongue in cheek. John Matuzak? Yup, that was him, but let's not dwell on it ok? The story is an obvious spoof on space opera style films and so I cut it some slack as far as some of the logic problems it had. As a spoof I expect it to be comical and to get a basic story told. It achieves both of those expectations in my opinion. The soundtrack isn't half bad either. C'mon, give it a viewing, it won't hurt.



Notes: GV Suggested Age: 8+

Wow, an 11% rating on RT. This is yet another example of the critics getting it all wrong. This is a very good movie, not to be missed. There's not a minute in it to be taken seriously, of course, and if you actually try to follow the plot you'll be wasting your time. But it is truly entertaining to watch, which is what movies are supposed to be about.

This is a very good movie. It has a begining a middle and an end. The plot makes sense and maintians a certain wackiness appropriate for the genre.

Unicorns, Vikings, Robots, Pirates, midgets. and the quest to find water. Awesome one-liners. I truly enjoyed this flick. should be an 8 of 10, but 9 of ten because no one else liked it. i'll balance it.

In a galaxy far away, water is the precious substance and the Templar's control its only source and thus keep the peoples of dozens of worlds under their dominaiton. But a group of brave pirates, led by the handsome ladies' man Jason (Urich) prey upon their water convoys and make a mint doing so. However, when Jason and crew become involved with Princess Karina (Crosby) and her search for her missing father, they find themselves on a path that might lead to the mythical Seventh World and its endless water supply.


The Ice Pirates (Robert Urich, left, Jeremy West, Anjelica Huston, and Michael D. Roberts)
prepare to attack a Templar Convoy.

"Ice Pirates" is an under-appreciated goofy sci-fi comedy that all but the most humorless sci-fi fans should get a kick out of, whether you're a lover of space-opera fare like "Star Wars" and "Star Trek" or if you go more for things like "Silent Running" and "Logan's Run". Low-brow and high-brow sci-fi get poked fun at equally in this very funny movie where jokes come at viewers non-stop.

With a great cast--whose classic mantinee idol and leading lady looks and comedic talents add equally to the success of this film--and a well-crafted, fast-paced script, this is a movie so outrageously fun that when it ends, you'll be saying, "What?! Is that it?! Where's the sequel?! I want a sequel!" (There wasn't a sequel, because, like so many other good spoofs, tis one didn't fare well at the box office.)

See this film for the terrifying space herpies. See this film for the funniest use of the word "nigger" this side of "Blazing Saddles". See it for the incredibly cute Mary Crosby and her futuristic princess outfits. But see it. See it for the Kung-Fu robots. But see it!

Ice Pirates
Starring: Robert Urich, Mary Crosby, Michael D. Roberts, Anjelica Huston, John Matuszak, Jeremy West, Ron Symonds and Ron Perlman
Director: Stewart Raffill

A star wars spoof that is original, lighthearted and fun. If taken for what it is, and when it was made, it is a great movie to relax and enjoy.